Episode Transcript
Up until now, I’ve never made this experience public, and I’ve only told a handful of people about it.
Partly because I didn’t have the language to explain it. And partly because, on its own, it sounds unbelievable. So I’ll just step straight into it.
This was a spontaneous experience.
At the time, I was woofing—working on organic farms in exchange for food and accommodation. I was staying on an intentional community property in Western Australia, a few hundred acres of mixed pasture and old bushland.
One day while exploring the property, I came across a small stone shack. Very rustic. No electricity, basic water. Two rooms—one living space and one bedroom, though the bedroom didn’t even have a front wall.
I asked about it, and the woman who lived there said I could stay if I wanted. So I did.
It was about a ten-minute walk from the main house. There was a snake living under the bed—I’d check before going in and leave it alone.
While I was staying there, I started having strange dreams. In three or four of them, I’d be sitting outside the shack talking with an Aboriginal man. I don’t remember the conversations. I didn’t think much of it at the time.
One afternoon, walking back across the paddocks, I started reflecting on my life—and I didn’t like what I saw.
I became angry with myself.
I thought, Look at you. You talk about energy and healing and awareness… but you’re not happy. You’re still suffering. You haven’t figured anything out.
By the time I reached the shack, that anger had built into a full rage.
I smashed things. I tore my clothes. I punched walls. I screamed. It was years of pent-up energy discharging all at once.
When it was finally spent, I sat down on a chair outside the shack and collapsed into it.
And I said—out loud—That’s it. I’m done.
I decided I wasn’t going to move. I wasn’t going to try. Whatever happened next, happened.
It was essentially a complete surrender. No expectations. No intention.
And the moment I looked out across the land, everything shifted.
What followed was what I can only describe as an enlightenment experience. I entered a completely different state of awareness. I won’t go into the full details here—it’s difficult to relate and easy to misunderstand—but it lasted about twenty minutes.
It was euphoric, but not in a chemical way.
The only clear thought I remember having was:
I need to understand this. I need to know how to return to this state. And I need to know how to help others experience it—even a little—because if they could, suffering would ease.
That was the depth of the experience.
Eventually, the state collapsed. I believe my nervous system simply shut down, and I fell asleep.
That experience became my North Star.
For a long time, I couldn’t relate to it at all. I had no framework to understand it. But over the years, I studied anatomy and physiology, psychology, systems theory, and even electrical engineering concepts. I explored how systems behave and organise.
Eventually, I realised two things had happened.
First, I had completely discharged the held energy in my nervous system. I wouldn’t recommend doing this through rage—there are far better ways—and I don’t believe I could recreate the experience that way again. It took me twenty years to fully understand that part.
Second, after discharging that energy, and then sitting with no intention or expectation, I had accessed what I now call the potential state.
I had already entered a neutral state.
One way to understand this is through the image of a toroid—like the shape of an apple. There’s movement all around the outside, but at the centre is empty space. That centre is neutral.
By accessing that neutral space, I connected with what I call my energetic signature—what some might call the soul. From there, awareness could move outward into the field.
This is where it starts to sound unbelievable, but I was able to access the fields of my environment.
Have I ever returned to that fully amplified version of the experience? No.
But I have returned—consistently—to the quieter, acoustic version of it. And that’s what I live from now.
I never tried to replicate the experience directly. I stayed curious. I kept the question open.
And what I’ve found—hundreds, if not thousands of times—is that when you hold a genuine, unresolved question, resources appear. The system responds. The loop closes.
What I came to understand is this:
The neutral state allows held energy to discharge.
From the neutral state, you can access the potential state.
From there, your energetic signature can emerge naturally.
The potential state itself is very simple to access—but without neutrality, there’s nowhere stable to access it from.
That’s the work we’re doing here.
